Mastering the Art of Giving Feedback
Table of Contents
- Introduction
- The Importance of Two-Way Communication
- Balancing Empathy and Directness
- Feedback Frequency
- Third party feedback
- Preparing Your Feedback Using the Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) Model
- Relative Feedback
- Absolute Feedback
- Resources and Further Reading
Introduction
Providing feedback is a crucial aspect of being in a leadership role in software engineering. In my experiences as lead engineer or manager I saw how effective feedback can foster growth, improve performance, and build stronger teams. This article shares insights from my experiences and various resources to help you master this skill.
The Importance of Two-Way Communication
From the Mochary Method I learnt that feedback is most effective when delivered in a two-way communication setup. Here are the preferred methods, but always depends on the situation and the recipient’s preference.
- In Person (Ideal): Face-to-face interactions allow for immediate responses and non-verbal cues.
- Video Call (Good): Almost as effective as in-person, with the added benefit of visual cues.
- Phone Call (Ok-ish): Better than written communication but lacks visual feedback.
If the recipient gets defensive, reassure them that the feedback is meant to help, not hurt. This is easier to manage in real-time conversations and impossible in one-way communications.
It's always nice to get praises and pats in the back, but it is with constructive feedback that we can grow and become better professionals.
If we know that the person has been defensive before, we could ask them if they are open to receive feedback now or if it should be postponed to an ad-hock meeting. This could allow them to have some time to be in the right mind frame.
For one-way communication methods like email or text, stick to 100% positive feedback to avoid misunderstandings.
Balancing Empathy and Directness
As managers, we can't always be friendly. It's essential to be empathetic but also direct. Timing is crucial, give feedback promptly and don't downplay serious issues. Sometimes, you have to "rip the bandage" to address problems effectively.
Feedback Frequency
If we see something in a meeting, i.e. someone being dismissive of someone else opinion's, we can ask them to hold back for a minute at the end of the meeting and immediately provide the feedback.
Third party feedback
Sometime is a third party feedback, so we haven't been in the situation, and you might need to verify this. So the regular one on one setup would be the best scenario to provide this feedback.
Preparing Your Feedback Using the Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) Model
Writing down your feedback beforehand ensures you cover all points and avoid omissions. Use clear examples to make your feedback relatable and actionable. The SBI model is an effective structure for feedback:
- Situation: Describe the specific situation.
- Behaviour: Describe the observable behaviour.
- Impact: Describe the results of the behaviour.
For example, using the SBI model: ‘In yesterday’s meeting (Situation), you interrupted Jane multiple times (Behavior), which made it difficult for her to share her ideas (Impact).’”
Avoid falling into the feedback sandwich, most of the time this is advised to avoid hard conversations or our discomfort on giving candid feedback.
Relative Feedback
Use the format: "I liked that … but I wish that you would …". This structure balances positive reinforcement with constructive criticism.
For example: “I liked that your presentation was informal and easy-going, making it very engaging and accessible. However, I wish you had put more effort into the slides so that people could get the full picture and ask better questions.”
Absolute Feedback
A 4-point scale forces a more definitive assessment, making it clearer whether the performance is above or below expectations. Here’s an example of how you might define a 1 to 4 scale:
- Needs Significant Improvement: You are not performing according the expectations, you need to step up your game. Is something going on? Reach out for help!
- Needs Improvement: You are doing mostly a good job, you still need to learn your new role, or you are a new hire, etc. Don't get too comfy.
- Meets Expectations: You are doing your job, and everyone is happy. Well done!
- Exceeds Expectations: Wohoo, you are killing it! You are performing your role and beyond.
When communicating these ratings, be clear and supportive: ‘You are currently at a 2, which means you need improvement. Let’s discuss how I can help you reach a 3 or 4.’”